Remembering when his father died, Mike explained: “I feel I have to restrain my emotions.” For him, suppressing the new pain is men. However, he later realized that he was wrong. So, when your friend
Lost his grandfather, Mike knows what to do. He said, “If it was a few years ago, I’d slapped him on the shoulder and say, ‘Be a man!’ Now, I touched his hand and said, ‘How do you feel? That will help you cope with the pain. If you want me to go I will go, if you want to stay, then I stay. But do not be afraid to express your feelings. ”
Another person, MaryAnne, also feels embarrassed when her husband dies. “I’m so worried about being an example to someone else that I do not allow myself to have normal emotions,” she said. But in the end I realized that trying to be someone else’s substitute really did not help me. I started to look at my situation and said to myself, ‘Cry if I need to cry. Do not try to be strong. Pour out all ‘.
Both Mike and MaryAnne made the offer: “Just let me be sad naturally!” They are right. Why? Sadness is necessary to relieve feelings. When emotion is released, your pressure will also go away. Expressing emotions in a natural way, based on the correct knowledge and information, will give you a sense of balance.
Of course, each person expresses pain in different ways. In addition, factors such as relatives who died suddenly or after a long illness can affect the response of the survivor. However, one thing is certain: Emotional repression can be harmful both physically and emotionally. Release of sadness will be much better. How? The Bible contains some practical advice.
Release of grief-How?
Speaking can help. After losing all ten children and encountering some other calamities, the old patriarch Job, said: “I am disgusted with my life. I will pour out the lament. I will speak in bitter pains! “(Job 1: 2, 18, 19; 10: 1, NW). Job can not control his heart anymore. You need to pour it out; he must “speak”. Similarly, a British playwright, Shakespeare, wrote in Macbeth: “Let the pain of words, otherwise it will silently break the heart.”
Expressing emotion with a “righteous” willingness to listen patiently and compassionately can help ease some of the pain (Prov. 17:17). When discussing pain and emotions, you will often understand the problem and be easier to deal with. In addition, if the listener has successfully coped with the loss, then you can collect practical suggestions on how to deal with it. When a child is lost, a mother feels that dealing with a woman who has experienced the same loss has helped her. “When you know someone who has experienced the same problem that you have overcome, is still alive and has a stable life, I feel energized.”
What if you find it hard to speak emotionally? After the death of Saul and Jonathan, David composed the song of an apostle to pour out his grief. This latter passage is recorded in the Bible, part of the second book of Samuel (2 Sam. 1: 17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25). Similarly, some people find it easier to express emotions when writing. A widow said she went through the pages and read a few days later. This made me feel good.
Talking or writing out emotions can help you calm down the sadness. It also helps to clear up misunderstandings. A lost mother explained: “My husband and I have heard that some couples have divorced after losing their children and we do not want that to happen to us. So, whenever we feel angry and want to blame each other, we talk to solve the problem. I think that really helps my wife and I get closer. ” Expressing emotions can help you understand that even though two people suffer the same loss, each one grieves differently, on his or her own level.
Another thing that can help alleviate sadness is crying. The Bible says, “There are times of crying” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4). Sure, losing loved ones is the time to cry. It seems that grief tears contribute to the recovery process.
A young woman tells her a close friend who helped her deal with her mother’s death. “My friend is always there to help. She cried to me, talk to me. I can freely express emotions, and this is very important to me. I do not have to be embarrassed to cry. ” (Romans 12:15). You do not need to feel embarrassed when crying. The Bible contains many examples of faithful men and women, including Jesus, who freely cry without grief. – Genesis 50: 3; 2 Sam. 1:11; 12; John 11:33, 35.